Bilious dialectic 2008-05-11T11:22:51-07:00 j.parish http://www.toastyfrog.com/verbalspew/index.php toastyfrog@gmail.com tag:gamespitenet,2008:verbalspew Pivot Copyright (c) 2008, Authors of Verbal Spew 2008-05-11T11:22:00-07:00 2008-05-11T11:13:00-07:00 tag:gamespitenet,2008:verbalspew.635

Now printing: The Seventh delicious issue of GameSpite. I was hoping to have a bit extra content in this first portion, but I'm pretty burnt out after the past week's ups and downs. So you only get two articles today, plus a hub page. But at least they are interesting: Battletoads I tend not to think of Battletoads as a video game but rather as an exquisitely-designed Skinner box to teach kids to hate games. Every playthrough is like receiving a vicious electric shock. And clearly, contributor CynicalValkyrie agrees, because now she associates games with suffering. The (Almost) Making of Mythri, Pt. 1 Those of you who've been around for a while may recall an American-developed RPG for Game Boy Color called Mythri which, for various reasons, never came to fruition. Now that the game's director is a big-shot pro developer, he's penned a multi-part trip down memory lane to look at what almost was. (Also features a high-tech hub page!)

jparish 2008-05-09T22:52:00-07:00 2008-05-09T22:52:00-07:00 tag:gamespitenet,2008:verbalspew.634

Have you guys seen the Clone Wars trailer yet? It's amazing how lifelike the animation is. They've managed to capture the vacuous lifelessness of the prequel trilogy cast perfectly.

jparish 2008-05-08T15:40:00-07:00 2008-05-08T15:05:00-07:00 tag:gamespitenet,2008:verbalspew.633

My parents sent me a box of random junk and toys and stuff I'd left at their place because I didn't want to be bothered with keeping track of it myself. (That's what parents are for, right? Dumping off your junk onto? Right?) I'm not really sure what to do with it all, but I did make a discovery about the Metal Gear saga that I'd never realized before: This changes everything, guys.

jparish 2008-05-07T16:17:00-07:00 2008-05-07T16:10:00-07:00 tag:gamespitenet,2008:verbalspew.632

Yes, as a matter of fact I am stuck at LAX for the next five hours. At least! That's assuming no flight delays, a very ludicrous assumption to make in this not-so-gilded age of air travel. One might wonder why I don't simply switch to an earlier flight; one might be surprised to discover that the airline on which my flight was booked has a grand total of one LAX-to-SFO flight each day. It is simply the final indignity in a trip that has been characterized by inconveniences and annoyances at every turn. Fortunately, the core reason for my being here wasn't so bad. Oh, and I guess having dinner with Tomm Hulett wasn't so awful, either. But really, at this point I'm almost tempted to rent a car and just drive back home -- I'd probably be there before our scheduled flight even leaves. Of course, the cost of gas would plunge me right back into poverty. No-win situations are the best.

jparish 2008-05-05T22:47:00-07:00 2008-05-05T22:44:00-07:00 tag:gamespitenet,2008:verbalspew.631

Hey kids, I'm ducking out of my sneaking mission for a moment to bring you the latest news on how to spend your ever-more-enfeebled dollar. Because I'm just that nice. Add To Queue | Weekly DVD Column Hey, Twister is out this week on Blu-ray, I see. Man, that movie sucked like only a flick about a massive low-pressure system can. The only remarkable thing about Twister is that I went to see it on a clear and sunny day, but when I left the theatre, a horrible violent storm had blown in. Yes, only divine intervention can make this movie memorable. New Game + | Weekly Games Column Despite the columnists' reluctance to call a clear winner this week, I have to say Boom Blox is racking up major love around the office. I haven't played more than about 30 seconds of it, but given the plaudits it's earning I figure you can't go wrong by at least renting it.

jparish 2008-05-05T08:01:00-07:00 2008-05-04T18:42:00-07:00 tag:gamespitenet,2008:verbalspew.630

I know the final Vader scene of Episode III is supposed to be heartwrenching, and I know the acting and directing make it unintentionally comical. But for me, I've always been struck by how much the question "Where is Padme?" sounds like the name of a children's book. Episode III: Thumbnail Theatre, Part 3 "Where is Padme? Is she in disguise as a retainer? No! Where is Padme? Is she sneaking into Anakin's bed again? Not tonight! Where is Padme? Oh, there she is -- lying dead of heartbreak. Yay, you found her!" Anyway, Thumbnail Theatre complete. It was kind of fun. Maybe I'll do another of these someday. Meanwhile, I'm on a jet plane at this very moment (well, the moment this post goes live) on the way to L.A., where I will be mostly offline through Thursday. I've been hired to do some wetwork, you see. That means no Retronauts this week, but we'll make up for it with two back-to-back episodes. No way am I missing a chance to justifiably talk about Bionic Commando for an hour. Edit: You kids who don't check in over the weekend should

jparish 2008-05-03T19:27:00-07:00 2008-05-03T19:21:00-07:00 tag:gamespitenet,2008:verbalspew.629

Episode III: Thumbnail Theatre, Part 2 And like clunky, unreliable clockwork, I have posted the second part of the Episode III Thumbnail Theatre. Now that I've knocked the rust off (and moved into the more obviously stupid portions of the movie), it's moving along at a much quicker pace and the results, I think, are quite a bit better. Also, I should mention that the thumbnail images are courtesy of Yakface.com. I was gonna use photos of the actors, but then I realized that using action figures was far more appropriate for a movie of this, uh, calibre. Don't get me wrong -- I enjoyed Episode III. But I'm fully aware of the fact that this enjoyment was due entirely to 25 years of marketing and franchising that has rewired my brain to be able to enjoy utter cinematic trash that exists strictly as a vehicle for selling merchandise.

jparish